Should Your Relationship Status Be UNSTABLE?

I consider myself a very observant person, a student of behavior.  And, with over 4000 friends on facebook, I have a fast moving wall.  I watch friends post about their lives, kids, sports, accomplishments, heartbreaks, world inspirations and even our battle for LGBT Equality.

My frustration truly sets in when I watch them jump from relationship to relationship. We have to be blind not to see it. They describe the heartbreak, the loss is unbearable. The blame and often the demise is posted and portrayed right on facebook, on social media.  The break up and the EX has ruined their life forever.  They can't eat, can't sleep and will never, ever, ever love again!  The relationship status goes to Single.  Then BAM.... 2 months later they have met their "next" soul mate.

Yes, you guess it.  The relationship status goes to IN A RELATIONSHIP.  Pictures all over facebook along with professed love splattered all over social media.  Friends gather around in support of the soul mate love; Happiness All Around!  Dating quickly jumps to living together and sure as shit they are engaged to be married.  Why not marriage?  Clearly that is the next step, right.  They go from dating a few weeks, in lasting love, to living together and within a few months rings are exchanged along with a promise of forever.

But, don't miss a few days on facebook or social media because if you blink, the relationship is over! Blame is being thrown out along with every card, personal item and name calling.  Relationship status goes back to SINGLE.  And, of course...this time it's really it.  This EX is the one that really, really, really ruined their life.  And, they will never ever,ever, ever love again.  Friends circle, bring out the booze, the kleenex in support of the broken heart, the victim.

Let's (LEZ) Get Real, Friends!  What is our expectation when we jump from one unhealthy relationship to the next?   When you begin a relationship without the stability of a foundation of time, exchange of friendship, co-creating a partnership of love, support of differences and complete understanding of each other's needs and love language you can be assured of a break down.  It's really over before it gets started.  It's just a matter of time til you wake up and say "I want the person back that I first met."  Truth.....Real Truth...the person you met in the beginning is not the real person.  It's just the best part of them and often a small part.

And, stop posting on social media how the other person broke your heart, it's all their fault, and love sucks.  Love doesn't suck.  Love didn't do anything to you.  You did it to yourself.  It's time to turn your finger pointing and blame on yourself.  You rushed into the relationship, you abandoned your healing, you abandoned your needs, you self sabotaged your heart by not taking the time to set a foundation.

Of course, I am compassionate, I am a Love Coach.  But, I can't sit and watch someone fall into the same hole over and over again.  At some point, the person must learn to walk around the hole or choose a different road altogether.  Listen, I have had my fair share of heartbreak.  But, every relationship, good or bad, is co-created.  If there is a breakdown, a break up, even if the other person cheated you are still responsible for the demise.  You have to find the lesson, the gift in what happened, what was your part in the break up and  how can you assure it will  not happen again.

What can you do for yourself to assure it will not become an unhealthy cycle?  Look Within!  Take time to grow from each heartbreak, understand what you want and need from your next partner and stand in that certainty.  Stop accepting the next person who shows you attention.  Don't be so willing to change your RELATIONSHIP STATUS.  Take time to Love You!